BONUS: Raising a Daughter While Acting on Tour (ft. Peter Moreton, Actor / Director from UK)

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Matthew Krekeler
Welcome to Girl Dad Nation. In this bonus episode, Peter Martin shares his experience of being a touring actor while raising a daughter.

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Matthew Krekeler
Peter, welcome back.

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Peter Moreton
Thanks very much. Good to be back. Was like I never went to. Yeah.

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Matthew Krekeler
So you have a wide variety of experience in the creative arts writing, directing, acting. But during that, I wanted to ask you what it's like to be a touring actor and especially raising kids when you have to go on tour.

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Peter Moreton
Yeah, I mean, it's an interesting kind of it's an interesting one because I've a lot of the time Meg was growing up, I would be away from home and I'd be touring. I was doing most of my work is the bulk of my work is working as a Shakespearean sort of classical actor. And that necessarily means you do a lot of international traveling.

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Peter Moreton
So I think you know, I mean, you'd be touring often internationally nine months of the year. And at one point I was in Toronto for three months just full. So for a full period of time and and it's kind of like kind of off saying about the gaps being away. But then of course when you get back, you that's the point where there's a payback and you can like you're just basically the main pair and then for the period you kind of make up.

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Peter Moreton
So we, we'd have to like a famine and drought in terms of the times that we spent together that occasionally, you know, she'd come out and it would be really exciting. Or she could when she came out to New York, she came out, you know, to Madrid and, you know, to various countries that she sort of and she so when she got a bit older, she'd just get on a plane and come and join me occasionally and sit like kid down in my hotel room and stuff like that.

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Peter Moreton
So you know, those kind of experiences were fantastic bonding experiences. Yeah. That, you know, I mean, yeah. And as she got older, she, you know, I'd have to get her own room because she wasn't going to stay in my room and so, you know, kind of she had a great time with all of that. But but it does test because she could have there's that kind of thing when you get back and there's a kind of getting to know each other, it's sort of, you know, sort of kind of like there's a kind of I think often when you go away for a long time and you come back and there's a period of like

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Peter Moreton
a I think that's true as well, where they kind of punish you for a few days. Yeah, yeah. So you know that we used to get a bit of to and fro. We probably both started out as each other, but but yeah, it was really it was. I mean, I think, you know, I think it was good for her, actually.

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Peter Moreton
I think to kind of have an understanding of of of the scale of the scale of it. Yeah, I think I think it meant the world was never really insular because, you know, yeah, luckily towards the end we saw like, gosh, we got face time and stuff like that. So we could, we could have chat. So I think so kind of she'd come and get conversations with me, sort of walking down the Chansley site, just saying that there's the art of stuff like that.

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Peter Moreton
So I think it's good for them.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, I think it's great to to travel with your kids and get them exposed to different places, different cultures. Yeah, just more of an awareness, like you said, of the of the world beyond just your cul de sac.

00:03:44:18 - 00:04:05:00
Peter Moreton
But also, you know, this amazing experience. I mean, you know, which I'd give any kid if I could, which is like just arriving and being part, you know, part of a troupe of actors that are on tour. Yeah, there's a kind of real little community that happens. Yeah, that kind of. There's a real sense of and I childishness about it all.

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Peter Moreton
I mean I think people think I shared.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. The start of love of all that was super cool.

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Peter Moreton
Yeah, just good fun. And there's a sense of play and you know, she'd sort of sit in the wings sometimes and watch the show and and kind of see all backstage and just see all the guys on and all that sort of stuff. So I think it was, you know, she's she was always at home meeting new people and and kind of I have these kind of new communities.

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Matthew Krekeler
Where she like her own VIP when she would come with you and and and among the other actors like. Yeah, yeah.

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Peter Moreton
I mean I just try.

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Matthew Krekeler
Not treatment and stuff.

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Peter Moreton
Yeah. I tried not to encourage that actually. I mean, she said you have to do it with everybody else. You know, there's no diva ism, you know, because all the other actors, you know, you know, they were so bored. We so bored of each other that any new person coming along is always, always a nice novelty when you've been touring for for seven months in hotel rooms, you're quite happy to talk to somebody else, to be.

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Matthew Krekeler
That's great. Do you remember the first time that you had to go away on tour for an extended period?

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Peter Moreton
Yeah, it was very hard.

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Matthew Krekeler
How did you prepare for that?

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Peter Moreton
Well, it was very early. And and first, when we went away, she was about three months old. I was away for I had to go do a show in to Nottingham and Edinburgh and a bit internationally. And I was away for about on and off. But you get back at weekends. Yeah, but I was away for about three and a half months on that one I think.

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Peter Moreton
But you know, for her so for her she grew up with those with it always happening. It was never it it was always in her consciousness that it goes away and comes back again. He always knew I came back. I think that's the most important thing. Yeah, you always need. I would coming back usually with, you know, some kind of present which would assuage my guilt having been.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, yeah. When I, when I went to London. Yeah, just this past summer, that was the longest period of time I had been away from my two daughters.

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Peter Moreton
So how did you find it.

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Matthew Krekeler
Man? It was it was way more difficult than I was anticipating, but I was only gone five days. But I were kind of a normal sort of job Monday through Friday. But I'm home in the evenings and stuff, so I'm always home. And then, which I love, I love being home like at night to then do the whole bedtime routine, read the kids bedtime books and all that kind of stuff and yeah.

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Matthew Krekeler
And be able to, to say goodnight to them every night and stuff. And then, and then being home most mornings to like I'm there when they wake up which, which I love. So yeah. So even though like I'm working and everything, that kind of consistency I've really enjoyed. So being gone where it's like multiple nights where and especially international when there's such a time difference.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, I have to like plan out what I'm calling so that like they're not asleep or like they're trying to call me and it's like in the middle of the night. And so like that was really challenging. But yeah, when I got home, it was, it was really great.

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Peter Moreton
Yeah. I was reckon you could tell the age of the adults and by the speech he ran to you at the airport when he came through. Yeah. It's like slower and slower to the point where they just don't bother running towards you at all and just waiting at home saying, I'll see you when you get back. Yeah.

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Matthew Krekeler
Or they're like, Oh, you're back. They don't even.

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Peter Moreton
She was so when she was four or five and you'd come through, you know, customs and come through the tunnel, you know, Heathrow just just one of the loveliest things in the world. It's just this kind of four or five year old girl just running, just jumping into your arms. It's such a such a lovely feeling and clinging onto you, you know?

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Peter Moreton
And yeah, you said somebody. And so you can hardly pull your back, you know, it's it's just such a great feeling that that fades as you get 1230.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. They get a better offer. Their friend is doing something and.

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Peter Moreton
You said, why am I going to go to the airport for my mum, come to bed. You don't need to come.

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Matthew Krekeler
It's great. And yeah, when I was in London before I got back, my daughters are three and one. My oldest is really into cars, so I got her a little like the London red double decker.

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Peter Moreton
Oh, great. Yeah.

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Matthew Krekeler
And a little black taxi cab.

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Peter Moreton
I know.

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Matthew Krekeler
And then. Yeah, and we, we did. We tried to do books before I left, so I went to the library and got as many children's books on London with Big Ben and the, the double decker busses and then Paddington and stuff. So we, we were trying to read and it's like, Yeah, I'm going to be gone for a couple of days, but like this is where I'm going.

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Matthew Krekeler
And then tried to try to do that. And then my daughter has this little rubber toy that's like a little koala rhyme. So I brought her little koala bear with me in my bag. And when I was in London, I tried to take it out and take pictures with her.

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Peter Moreton
Little.

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Matthew Krekeler
Koala in different parts of London. So, so that was great. So I would send those back and it's like, Yeah, even though I wish I could bring the whole family, it's like, here's, here's a little part of my family that's like traveling with me. And my daughter got a kick out of it. So, and then for my youngest, I got a little What's the big toy store?

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Matthew Krekeler
Hamleys, is that right?

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Peter Moreton
Yeah, I'm this.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, yeah. So I like a little Hamleys bear. It's like one of the little toy store, right? Like.

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Peter Moreton
So I used to live around the corner. I was about between seven and 11, maybe about six in that because we live around the corner from Harry's. I had to sell it as a museum.

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Matthew Krekeler
Oh, yeah.

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Peter Moreton
So it's a medium. It's not a.

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Matthew Krekeler
Shop. Yeah. Just like. Okay, say, but I will visit another day.

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Peter Moreton
Yeah, I was a bit about it said I think the other thing I told it was when the ice cream van, when do you have ice cream vans in America where they play music and it's like.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah.

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Peter Moreton
Yeah. I always told her when they played the game meant they'd run out of ice cream.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, that's great.

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Peter Moreton
I think it's really important. LIGO case when this is not true. Of course.

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Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. I feel like kids are more intuitive. They pick up pretty, pretty quickly. Any last bit of advice or parting words? Just being able to travel and managing that with kids?

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Peter Moreton
Yeah, I think it's a really good thing. I think some people see it as, you know, a dangerous thing. I think I think it's I think it's good to spend time away from your kids as much to spend time with your kids. I think you got to remind I mean, I think it's good for kids to realize that they're not the center of the world.

00:11:04:11 - 00:11:29:00
Peter Moreton
And actually, you know, I think it's also good for parents to realize that they're not the center of their children's world. I think it's quite good. So kids just give each time space. You know, I think it felt like it might be a positive thing, but I found it is a I mean, an incredibly I think Meg would say as well that it was a positive thing that I that I spent time away and then came back again.

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Peter Moreton
So I think that's I think I would say don't don't be frightened of absence. I think it's not a bad thing as long as they feel safe that you're going to come back. Yes, I think it's it's not a bad thing at all.

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Matthew Krekeler
That's great. And I think it's wonderful that you and your daughter remain close and that you work together.

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Peter Moreton
Well, that was that was actually the phone going off. That was her ringing.

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Matthew Krekeler
Oh, great. That's great that you've maintained that relationship. And it's it's cool to since my daughters are so young, so it's awesome just to learn from other dads and see, yeah, learn from other journeys and be able to see to like. As your daughters get older, they're becoming their own adults. You can maintain that closeness and and.

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Peter Moreton
It's just wonderful. It's a testament to her as much as me. I mean, I think that's the thing that I kind of really have taken away from being a dad is the amount I've learned from Meg is and continue to I mean she's I take counsel from her. You know, she's she's a wise head and and, you know, I kind of you know, it's a really it's a joyous thing, realizing that you've brought people into the world in a way who are independently brilliant.

00:12:44:23 - 00:13:07:05
Peter Moreton
And you know, that in some ways, I think most of my job as a parent has been to get out of her way and kind of like tell her that she's capable of it. You know, just reminder that, yeah, it's all doable, you know? So when she's had ideas, you say there's no reason why that can't happen and there's no reason why it should.

00:13:07:13 - 00:13:21:23
Peter Moreton
But there's no you know, there's no reason why you should be prime minister, but there's no reason why you couldn't be, and you know that. So it's kind of been yeah, it's been a joyous process for me. I've loved being at that. It's still do.

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Matthew Krekeler
That's great. Yeah. I love seeing your joy. That's awesome.

00:13:27:05 - 00:13:33:22
Peter Moreton
Well, yeah. And good. I wish you good luck with yours. You got you got a way to go yet. You haven't got expensive yet. I shouldn't tell you that.

00:13:34:20 - 00:13:37:18
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, it's getting there.

00:13:38:12 - 00:13:40:02
Peter Moreton
Yeah, we're not even close.

00:13:40:02 - 00:13:48:06
Matthew Krekeler
I'll get amused by the smallest things, which is great. So, like, we buy all the expensive toys and they still end up playing with, like, the recycling.

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Peter Moreton
Yeah, I know. That's always the. Yeah, the toys get more expensive as they get older. Trust me.

00:13:55:15 - 00:14:07:07
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, yeah. She's been. She's content with her like little tykes play phone and stuff like that. And yeah, she's not asking for the new iPhone and everything.

00:14:07:07 - 00:14:09:12
Peter Moreton
I enjoyed that one. Laughs.

00:14:12:04 - 00:14:14:17
Matthew Krekeler
Great. Well, yeah, it was a pleasure talking to you. Thank you so much.

00:14:15:06 - 00:14:29:19
Peter Moreton
Thanks ever so much, Matthew. Lovely to do it. Lovely to be asked to do it. Thanks ever so much.

00:14:31:11 - 00:14:49:14
Matthew Krekeler
Thank you to Peter for sharing his experience and being part of Girl Dad Nation. As dads, we have to balance other responsibilities and ambitions with raising kids. It can be a difficult challenge and not always perfect, but every effort we make for quality time with our kids makes all the difference. Let me know how you make it work.

00:14:49:14 - 00:15:10:19
Matthew Krekeler
As a dad, my messaging girl dad nation on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. You can also email me at girldadnationpodcast@gmail.com. Thank you for listening. Please share the show with a friend. You can support the show by clicking the link in the description and getting your Girl Dad Nation keychains and magnets. Until next time, go be a dad.